It has been an incredibly long time since I have written anything outside of a TCJ Design blog or a short entry into my journal. I used to write all of the time. I journaled almost everyday. I wrote stories for high school, college, and professional publications. I have had so many stories in my head—both personal and fiction. Making time for me never happens, though.
I wouldn’t say I’m getting burned out with my photography business or my teaching career… I’m honestly still loving getting to do both, but I don’t have enough time to do what I want. What do I want that I don’t have time for? Let me rant. I want money to go visit my family St. Louis. As I watch people age, especially my siblings, I’m miss having closer relationships with them. I feel like as I’m in mid forties, it’s hard to have friends. I know so many people….so many people. My photography business has been great for that. But I don’t have close friends… people who know what’s going on in my life who live similar lives that we can share. I absolutely adore Mark. We both have had people who we are close to who don’t live local, who we have lost touch with for a multitude of reasons, or who are like us…too busy to socialize. The kids’ activities keep us so busy. The house maintenance keeps us so busy. My photography business and grading keep me so busy. It’s harder to find energy to put into others. I give it all away at school or in my photo sessions, and I come home with zero energy to socialize. I don’t want to be on for anyone. Most days, I don’t have the energy to even workout.
So I’ve figured that while this website has critical errors still, I’d try to figure out how to eventually fix them, and I’d set some of my goals BEFORE New Year’s 2023 in no particular order in the hopes that MAYBE 2023 will be the year.
I want to get my body healthy and in a size I am proud of. I want to write and get published. I want to make some photography art collections and try to sell them to local businesses. I want to figure out how to help my kids so they listen better and so we have meaningful and not frustrated family time together. I want to see Mark figure out his ADHD so I can support him in some of the goals he has. I want my kids to listen. I want my dogs to listen and be good enough to be around other people at our house without use worrying about hurting them. I want to read for fun.
But now, I’m going to stop writing. Because the kids are supposed to be stacking firewood while Mark hangs Christmas lights and Emma and Liam have both hit each other in the head with firewood. And that’s our life….
