So I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. As someone who never had a serious relationship until I started dating Mark, Valentine’s Day was always a day that did more to remind me how after 27 years of living on this Earth, I *STILL* didn’t have what I wanted. Single’s Awareness Day was not a joke. It felt like the world painstakingly jabbed at me that they had what I wanted and felt like I would never have. I never wore red on Valentine’s Day. I hated the tables that were set up in the Borgia hallways each year. Seriously…the 14-year-old students could get gorgeous bouquets of flowers from their little boyfriends. I must really have been ugly, dumb, fill-in-the-blank, I would think to myself. Valentine’s Days were simply a reminder of how crappy I was at making a relationship work and that I was alone.
So, when Mark and I started dating, I made it clear. We weren’t celebrating Valentine’s Day. Why should we do conform to society’s rules about love? It was a Hallmark holiday to me. Granted, my dad always was great at making it something special. I always got a card from…he mailed one to me each year after I left home. I always waited to hear from my mom about the goofy gift that he bought her that year… a karoke machine, a computer, another Made for TV special. Dad adored mom, but he showed her (and Colleen and me) that he adored us far more than just February 14.
As a mom, I am now feeling a predicament of sorts. Do I want Emma to be like me and hate this day that celebrates over-the-top gestures? Yes. Do I want her to feel like she “has” to have a boyfriend to be someone (in 20 years mind you)? No. I want her to be independent and strong woman. Do I want her to feel adored by her dad (and mom)? Most definitely.
So I gave in to Valentine’s Day this year….just sort of. Emma has the adorable shirt in the picture stating “My Heart Belongs to Daddy”. And even though Mark and I don’t exchange gifts, Emma and I made cupcakes. Mark had been craving them. I had frosting to use. Emma got to play with spilling sprinkles for the first time. It was a win-win for all, and now we have a great dessert to go with our traditional anti-V-Day themed dinner of hot wings, tots, and beer.
It’s amazing to be so in love with both Mark and Emma. (And my dogs, too…we celebrate Scout’s birthday on Valentine’s Day.) But if I am a good wife and a good mom, I should be showing Mark and Em and the pups that I love them EVERY DAY. And “special” treats should come because I feel moved to do so, not because society, Hallmark, or anyone else tells me that I should.
Maybe I’ll take my sister-in-law’s advice and get some really yummy discounted chocolates from the stores tomorrow.
