Liam’s a warrior, and he’s been that way since before he was born. We had a lot of fertility help to make him happen, and for someone who used to be terrified of needles, I have experienced more than my share with Liam. I did acupuncture (which I now love) to help get my body ready for him. I had shots of medicine before and after he was conceived and was diagnosed with gestational diabetes at the beginning of my third trimester (so more needle pricks…four times a day).

I don’t recommend moving at the beginning of the third trimester. The drive from San Antonio to DC was long. Either I had to pee, Emma needed a new diaper, or the dogs needed to go out. The drive took forever.

I felt useless, just trying to keep Emma out of Mark’s way, as he painted and unpacked, making this house our home.

From the beginning, we weren’t in love with our care at Walter Reed. However, it was the best option available since the GD made me high-risk, and I feared high-blood pressure again. The first few doctors we had were horrible. We were cattled in, our questions weren’t answered, and we left missing our care in San Antonio. We knew we needed to be in DC before Liam was born, though.

Then we met Dr. Jillian Lopiano. She was awesome…and reminded us of my friend from St. Louis and old roommate, Leah, so we made every appointment with her.

In May, my GD started getting bad at dinner…she cut out carbs completely. It worked, my numbers were good, but I was just done being pregnant. But the c-section wasn’t scheduled until June 17.  (He technically wasn’t due until June 23.)

So, on Sunday evening (June 1) I started feeling contractions for the first time ever. I didn’t have them with Emma. They came every 15 minutes like clock work, and the intensity built. We knew they weren’t frequent enough, and so we waited. And I decided it was probably time to pack my hospital bag.

On Monday, I called the labor and delivery and was told to rest, and if they got closer together (so every 6-7 minutes for an hour) or grew in intensity, we should go in. After dinner Monday night, they were back and more frequent and definitely met the requirements. We put Emma to bed, and my former student Jori came over to be at the house in case she woke up.

Mark and I arrived to Walter Reed, they monitored Liam, put an IV on me, and did lab work to test for hypertension. I had one high-blood pressure number, but nothing changed. The nurse and resident led us to think Liam was going to be delivered that night. We were in shock initially, but then we were ready for him to come and share Mark’s birthday.

At about 2 a.m. on June 3, the head doctor came in to monitor me. Apparently, I hadn’t progressed enough, and she made the decision to send us home. I was heartbroken  and mentally a mess. I was ready to be done. The nurse came in and undid my IV. I am pretty sure she thought we were there for the night and was as surprised as we were that we were going home.

We got home around 3 a.m. It had to be the easiest babysitting gig Jori ever had. Emma didn’t know she was even there!

I had a doctor appointment scheduled with Dr. Lopiano on Wednesday. Everything was OK, but she could tell I was done. She couldn’t do anything, but she did say she wouldn’t be surprised if she saw us the next day, when she was working on labor and delivery. We took this as a sign that we should get plans in place to cover Emma and the dogs. I put my tech skills to use and created a spreadsheet and put a plea on Facebook asking local friends to help.

At that point, my contractions were there, but they weren’t as regular. Some were intense. I was tired. I went to bed early Wednesday night drained from the previous days. I woke up with a headache. Now this was weird because I NEVER get headaches, and when I do I take a Tylenol and nap, and they go away. I never wake up with them. Well, that happened again on Friday. I called labor and delivery. I was told to come in. I ate a light breakfast of yogurt and toast. We packed up the car, and we took Emma with us, since our friend Maggie was going to be at Walter Reed that day, too. Maggie was going to take Emma if we needed her, and we did.

Once again, I got lab work done to test for hypertension, had my blood pressure checked, and received my IV. My blood pressure was fine, but the combination of the headache and my labwork must have flagged something. We learned early that morning that Liam was going to be born.

Maggie came up after her appointments, and after transferring Emma’s carseat, Emma was off with her for the day until my friend Janelle could get in to take care of Emma while we were at the hospital. I was moved to my room, and we waited…I ate breakfast, so we had to wait. The same thing happened with Emma…the waiting game.

Well, Liam finally came at 4:53 p.m. The c-section itself went great. He was 37 weeks and 4 days.

Mark got to hold Liam while I was sewn up, and it was in recovery things started to get weird. Because of the c-section, he didn’t get all of the fluid out of his lungs and was given some extra oxygen in the NICU Friday night until his body could absorb it. While in recovery, I only only held him for about 30 seconds before he was whisked away to the NICU. I missed the skin-to-skin contact that I had wit Emma, but they swore to me that he’d only be in there for about four hours and by midnight he’d be in my room.

I told everyone I wanted to breastfeed…they had me pump my colostrum. I had gestational diabetes, and even though my son’s levels were above the minimum they supplemented with bottle formula.

Mark visited Liam that night since I couldn’t move yet, and we learned that they had pushed his time back to the morning. That motivated me to get out of bed ASAP. By midnight, I had escaped my bed, made my way into a wheelchair, and had Mark roll me to the NICU.

All day Saturday, the doctors kept pushing back the time he’d be in my room, and they had me pumping. All I wanted was for Liam to be in my room. I took advantage of the time apart to get some sleep, but I would have done anything to have him in my room. I didn’t get to even try and breastfeed him until Saturday evening at 6 p.m., and I didn’t get him to latch right in their short window, so I went back to my room to pump…in the mean time he was hungry and they gave him a bottle with 20 ml formula at 7:30 p.m. without calling me and asking me to try again. I don’t even know if they ever gave him the breastmilk I pumped.

I finally breastfed him for the first time successfully late Saturday night/Sunday morning at 1 a.m., and he moved to my room Sunday morning in time for the next feeding around 4 a.m., I let him cluster feed all morning. I knew I was going to have to repair the lack of bonding time and the fact that he had been getting a bottle.

Sunday was great…we were both hitting the markers set by our doctors. He had his circumcision Sunday afternoon, and he had no issues latching or feeding until after his circumcision.

That evening and during our first days at home, feeding Liam was a battle. I was only getting him to feed at the breast for only about 2/3 of his feedings. Of those more than half have no issues, but for some I had to trick him and get him into a sucking mode, teasing him with a little bit of pumped breast milk in a small tube,  and then he transitions easily to the breast. The other 1/3 of the time, he just fought me and refused to latch even though he’s hungry. He was frustrated. I was frustrated and worried about him not eating enough…so I ended up pumping and let Mark feed him by bottle. (During this time, we also got our first set of professional pics. He was a trooper!)

Luckily, a college friend who is a doula and a lactation consultant gave great advice. On Thursday, at almost a week old, Liam and I went in start over mode. We stayed in bed and got skin-to-skin contact. It was hard, but we took away bottles and binkis and only let him breastfeed or get food from the tube. After two days of pretty much doing nothing but cuddling and working on feeding, we were on track. One week late, but we did it.

During the week after his birth, I did research and learned that the hospital’s guidelines for his sugar levels were WAY higher than the recommended. He surpassed their high levels, tying it once, which is why they kept him away from me for so long. I also learned in other research that my breast milk would have been the BEST to keep his sugar levels at a safe number. This made me furious with the NICU doctors and nurses. I didn’t know better and trusted them. Luckily, everything worked out, but had Liam been my first baby, I probably would have abandoned breastfeeding altogether. I definitely resent them for making my first week with Liam so hard when it should have been blissful.

I worked so incredibly hard to get and keep that baby. Mark and I are his parents. It is not like we wanted to do anything crazy with him healthwise. We just wanted him in my room and wanted me to breastfeed him only. I really think that the NICU staff was too lazy and didn’t want to come to my room to check on him. It was easier for them in the NICU. One of the staff members (maybe a few…I don’t really remember) even talked about how they weren’t as worried about him because he wasn’t a serious NICU patient.

When my doctor, Dr. Lopiano, visited me on Sunday morning in the hospital, we told her that, and she was furious, saying that every NICU patient should be treated the same. If they thought he had to be in the NICU, he should not be treated any differently or they needed to release him to me sooner.

Needless to say, when I got the survey for my Walter Reed birthing experience, I praised the OB docs and tore apart the NICU and peds docs. Life is great with Liam now. He’s such a relaxed and happy baby. I just wish I had gotten to experience the first moments with him the way I did with Emma. I’m just beyond happy we fixed everything and I wasn’t afraid to ask for help.

To end on a positive note, we are SO in love with this little boy. He goes with the flow. He eats like a champ (already close to 10 pounds at six weeks). He sparks up when Emma interacts with him. He adores his daddy. He smiles constantly while sleeping. He’s a great cuddler and sleeper. He clings to my shirt. He is so strong…rolled over from belly to back for the first time on his due date (June 23) and has done it numerous times since. He’s trying to go from back to belly now. I can’t wait to learn more about him…I AM SO IN LOVE.

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