First, can I tell you how nice it was to be on retreat and to NOT plan it? It was incredible. I loved not having any responsibility. And I came away really enjoying the St. Mary’s faculty even more. I know that moving and getting to work at so many places is giving me so many ideas for how to create a strong community. I went away from the retreat feeling like I know a lot more about the Marianists, feeling like I have a clearer idea of whose who and like I belong in the St. Mary’s community, and feeling like I learned something spiritually and mentally about my personal and professional lives. It’s been awhile since I went on a retreat and had that rich of an experience.
Brother Ed made us think a bit more using the gospel of the Wedding Feast of Cana. I came away from his talk and the reflection time with a number of new insights:
1. Brother Ed was talking about Mary’s role in the story as a risk taker when he said, “Risk: it is what make teaching exciting and makes me a better teacher.” I think this is true as a teacher, but how true is this for life as well? You can easily say this: Risk is what makes LIFE exciting and what makes me a better PERSON. I was really struck with how Mary, the Waiters, and Jesus were all risk takers in the story. This made me think a lot about how much of a risk taker I have been in my life.
The prompt for this year’s Real Simple writing content is “I never thought I’d …”. I haven’t finished (OK, I haven’t really started my piece yet), but I plan on writing about how I never dreamed I’d marry Mark and how I’d never thought I’d really ever move from St. Louis, much less be a military wife who has to continually pack up and move from place to place. Taking risks is what makes life exciting. I think this is going to have to be the mantra with the next move!
Another interesting point Brother Ed made was this statement about the opening line of the book, The Road Less Travelled. The line states this: “Life is difficult.” Brother Ed pointed out while there are people who bring on more difficulties, they don’t have to. There’s a lot of difficulty just given to us in life. How true has that been for me in the last year? Two miscarriages, my dad dying, Mark deploying, and just the general stresses that the Air Force puts on my life (like NO support from the squadron, lack of control over where we end up, etc.).
Brother Ed ended the day asking us these questions:
What’s happening within your world that is an example of God breaking through and giving you a miracle?
As much as I don’t see it yet, I do believe Mark’s deployment is an example of God’s work in our lives. I’m not sure how yet, but maybe it’s the fertility stuff in St. Louis, maybe it’s building relationships at St. Mary’s for a job in eight years, maybe it’s being here to be with my mom after dad’s death, maybe it’s helping some other family member, maybe it’s to show Mark and me that we can make it through anything as a couple. I don’t know. I just feel like there has to be a reason for it yet.
What is something I learned on retreat?
I learned that my dad’s time at St. Mary’s with the Marianists had a strong impact on his life and spirituality. I can see how the friendly spirituality and community was a big piece of dad’s Clancy charm. Boy do I miss him a lot lately. I feel like dad taught me something yesterday even though he wasn’t there with me in person. I was reminded of how important the Clancy charm is and that I need to use it.
What is there from this discussion that you want to do differently because of today?
I was reminded of a few things I want to do for my students. I want to start class with prayer. I remember Ginger complimenting me that at Seton and how it really did set a good tone for class. I want to weave in social justice readings and things into my ENG 190 class.
One other important thing that the retreat taught me is that this is my year to be selfish. This is the year for me to take care of me first. I am so good at taking on too much. I am going to work on saying no and really discern what I want and need to do before I say yes. My priority is to take care of myself mentally, spiritually, and physically. I want to keep my relationship with Mark strong and by this time next year, I want to be a mom. My goal is to make sure those two things happen. Being a good teacher is important, but not the most important thing in my life. I need to keep reminding myself of that. Mark and our family. That’s what I am working on during 2010-11 school year.
