OK, so most people know that I pretty much feel like I don’t fit in with the military world. I’ve never clicked with the spouses. I just have different values, and I always feel like an outsider at events. I don’t stay at home. I don’t have kids. I have graduate degrees (my God…I’m getting my Ph.d now), I want to work *and* have a family, and I am a practicing Catholic. I am an advocate for social justice and tend to be a bit liberal in my political beliefs while still fully supporting my husband in his work-related endeavors. I still want a “If you want peace, work for justice” bumper sticker. (In fact, I may order one tonight while I am thinking about it.) I think volunteering isn’t real unless you force yourself out of your comfort zone. I can be outspoken, and I’m not afraid to have hour-long conversations with Colonels and a senior airman at the same First Friday event.
I have only met one other spouse in the Huey community with even remotely similar values and interests. (Love you, Molly!) My support from the military spouse world feels small: the wives of two of Mark’s friends from pilot training (what would I do without Corby and Christy’s support, really?), our former commander’s wife, my friend Rebecca from Seton whose husband used to be in the Air Force, and a number of the female officers Mark works with (love Kate and Maggie to death…sigh…wouldn’t have made it through D.C. without you).
But what happened today? I met someone like me. And not just like me. Someone who has values like me. She used this analogy: pretend you’re purple …there are no other purple people out there, and here wham…you find another purple!
My new purple friend is Holly. She’s one of the graduate students that I work with at SLU. That alone should tell you we have similar values. She’s educated. She’s in law school. She is Catholic and involved in campus ministry. (She even plays on the campus ministry volleyball team with me!) But it gets better than that. Her husband is in the Army and is stationed in Afghanistan. They’re stationed in Fort Hood, but she’s here pursuing her degree instead. And even better…her husband is a helicopter pilot! He’s a warrant officer and flies Apaches. He’s teaching in Afghanistan. And he’s been stationed at Taji!
So, Holly and I’ve decided we’re meant to be friends. I think this friendship is definitely going to fit my very favorite term from Anne of Green Gables…a definite kindred spirit. And I hope we can develop a stronger friendship in the next few months. Just tonight alone, it was refreshing to have someone who understood the lingo, the stress, and the desire to be your own person. I know there are other purples out there; they’re just hard to come by. There is no way that I can look at her and deny that God put us in each other’s lives right now. The amount of things we have in common is just too much…so thank you God, for my new friend Holly. I have a feeling she’ll be one of the gifts and people who help me get through the next 70 days.
