I had my IUI this morning. I slept so poorly. I was so nervous that I was going to oversleep and miss it. I’m feeling a lot better about things this time. I feel like the timing is better, we know I had a follicle that was in good shape on Monday, I had a chaplain’s wife/nurse give me my trigger shot, I’ve actually had ovulation pain, the entire process at Walter Reed went well, and the procedure was easy. I’m hoping I have a baby at the end of January! I’ve been thinking all day that maybe it will be a boy and not a girl, though. Everyone thinks we’ll have a girl first. Mark had a dream about Emma, even. She was about a year and half old in his dream. I’ve been telling everyone I don’t care what I get as long as I get a baby, but since today is Cinco de Mayo, it’d be appropriate if I conceived Cinco de Marco, as Mark’s siblings have nicknamed Jake. So, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
I spent most of my lunch hour finding doctors in St. Louis. The Barnes fertility clinic takes Tricare Prime, so they’ll be the clinic I go to if I do need further fertility help. If I get pregnant this round, I’ll probably be using the Wash. U. gynecology services because they take Tricare Prime, too. I may go with a friend’s recommendation of Dr. Gosser; it just all depends on if I have to have infertility help in St. Louis. I learned the out of pocked cost for the IUI in St. Louis is only $420 so I’d probably just have the procedures done there instead of having to travel back to Walter Reed. I doubt that I am going to do another round of treatment here at Walter Reed. I’ll probably get my Clomid just in case I change my mind, but my fertile time is right during my move and I just don’t really want to deal with it. I’ll be so stressed, and I think it’d be a waste of money. That means I’d have three more IUIs I could do in St. Louis. And if I do three more IUIs, and they don’t work, Mark and I will try IVF when he’s home for his mid-tour leave. But, again, I really don’t think I’m going to need that. I think that this it. I just have a good feeling!
Tonight, I also got a date night with Mark. We watched Lost together. He was able to download it on his computer. Tomorrow night, we’re watching Chuck. Watching television shows and movies together like this has helped make the last four months so much more bearable. I’m really hoping that it makes the next year tolerable. I know that when I get back to St. Louis life will be so much easier. I am so excited to hangout with Amy and Erin! (I guess that is if they’ll hang out with their thirtysomething aunt. I may not be cool anymore.) I just have to stay busy and pull through the next four weeks in D.C.
A co-worker shared her sister-in-law’s blog with me today (http://wednesdayswithmalou.wordpress.com/). Her story was amazing. As I read her blog and as I’ve been reading Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domar, I’ve realized how infertility isn’t just like other disorders. It has such a profound impact on so many parts of a person’s life. The books I’ve been reading are so right; being infertile is just as mentally draining as being diagnosed with cancer. It’s scary, and it’s so easy to feel like we can’t get control of the situation. I sure hope that in 12 weeks I have some happy news to share with everyone. My good friend from college and I have a mantra: Positive Thoughts. She and I are going through some very different but very similar obstacles in life. And I really think my dad was right: it is all about the power of positive thinking.
So, I’ll continue crocheting the baby blankets for Emma and Jake, and hopefully, I get to meet one of them at the end of January! And then I’ll get to see Mark for the first time in nine months, too!
